Comments  Section 

COMMENTS

Disclaimer: This is all about comments and what people said. And what it might mean or not mean. It’s like a girls gossiping WhatsApp group. If you are cut from that piece that thinks it’s doesn’t add up knowing what people said, sorry but it’s like you are earmarked to wrap out here. Otherwise throw caution to the July winds and let’s get to hear this…

Apologies first and foremost for those of you who I owe some work and I have not honored deadlines lately. I own a small media. No. This is my small media. Some people know that. Other people know not. I guess a fair chunk never mind. Lately I spend my early dusk hours before bed going through the comments section of my small media in particular. It’s crazy fun. It’s this promising meeting people around the globe right at the comfort of my comment section. Good thing but the goddamn shit eats into my freaking deadlines!  People commenting on stuff online tend to take hid behind the shadow of anonymity. It reminds my good friend who developed a sexual reproductive app called Siri and he confesses the kind of questions Siri answers daily will leave your ribs sour. On that note if you are this word Smith with a side plate serving of language mastery coupled with undisputed editing skills, please let’s have a word. You might be the solution this our small media is hunting.

It’s why and how I will start with some girl. Sounds like she was typing from some non_english speaking region of earth. Am not sure on this but let’s just say Asia. Her English tells it all!  She wrote “Am not your regular visitor but I read tons of your posts here. I like them save for the need to work on grammar and some commas. Otherwise keep up!” She starts all well then decides to pen off sounding like some primary school maths teacher; keep up! On between he throws in that jab on grammar then punctuation then commas or lack of them. Like this sentence I guess needed a comma somewhere not unless you run in the morning you will struggle saying it in continuinuation. Okay again we thank you for visiting. Sorry about the grammar mistakes but it’s something we are looking deep in to. We even have a commission of inquiries to look into it and table findings. We are Kenyans.

I can’t proceed without bringing to surface that bloody spam! It’s eating into my thinking. It’s disturbing. Everyone complains so. We would love our platform to be spam free but spam won’t just leave us alone. It keeps happening like the attacks on Boni Forest. About ten commenters wrote “this post is awesome but the spam is exasperating” First am losing all comments to spam. Then I have to dig through like you’d ravage the Dandora dumpsite to dish them out rather unspam them. Then some chaps are notorious for living on the Internet and finding solace in coming to bump obnoxious links on good people’s weblogs. Could such be the kinds that neglected Sunday school as kids? There is this notion that Millions of trees in the world are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts, then forget where they hid them.

Do good and forget. It will grow some day. Yes am addressing those of you who bombard on us those link backs reminding us you sell cigars and booze and girls and tickets to Devils dens. Will you spare us the reminders if we told you we are only interested in boring stuff not the adventures you are fronting. Again if you are this techie who has tremendous tips on how one can take on spam by the horns without losing a pint of his front teeth, write back and help a brother find peace.

IPhone users, come on you are this loud. That must have been the US. Some guy wrote “buddy, it appears your website doesn’t load awesome on my iPhone. Does anyone else experience this?” I wanted to write “but the rest of us use Android and feature devices and our neighbors gadgets and once in awhile rare while government call lines. We are third world”  Then it appeared that we eish have to live online fur a couple of days him taking me through how to take a selfie on an iPhone and myself telling him how I dream to own an iPhone when I grow up.

Every one gets to ask about my new WordPress theme. “What is the name of your new theme. Did you customize it by your own?” It’s amazing how I have managed to find my way around WordPress without much a do. But the new theme has this bombastic word for a name I can’t remember it however much I try to memorize. Incase you travel the world as part of your future plans and by good luck you bump into me, I will readily help you out on that. But incase you are reading this and you need any help WordPress, don’t hesitate to reach out.

“Did you make the site yourself?” Some kid in tech wrote that. It read like he was typing from India. Not that am sure of that but if you are an Internet nomad, at one point an Indian techie has once or twice bumped into you dropping a request to Build you this Majestic app. And you writing back “it will be a pleasure”

“Am challenged I want to start blogging” another Jovial girl wrote. Incase you are online and you see some fashion blog pop up just know it’s her. See she got her motivation right here. I feel like asking you people “what are you waiting for?”

“You write this subject so easily. You make it quick to understand” This one made me feel like I should fire off my comp, reach out for some fools cap and an ink pen, draft some will to distribute my poverty and go. I mean what else does one need in appreciation?

Then some girl descended ranting “Your colours are a bit busy and clashing. I don’t want to sound mean but that alone will make me overlook your content” I read that twice. Then read again. My throat ran dry. I gulped on water. See first there’s is this Narrative that men are color blind. A typical man can’t differentiate between green and Safaricom green for instance. What are those anyway? You guys realise Safaricom chaps changed their corporate color to a thicker shade of green. I started fighting this feeling that I should visit that girl’s bedroom. Ahem! Not for reasons what you are thinking but just try check how she’s matched her idea of colors in their. Next time she writes, I will wear a grin and propose.

“No I don’t just want to agree with you because the world agrees with you. I want to speak my mind and tell you I don’t like the way you force us into your perspective without taking a damn care to probe if we have divergent thoughts. I guess I can even write better than you on this topic if you are willing to take a bet” Oops! That guy must have had a hard day in the run up to writing this. Take easy buddy. We can act manly on this and cool it off over Coffee. Do you know Kenya?

“Sounds a little out of topic but I just wanted to let you know my partner and I met on on your blog and now we live happily. We read you often” I was destined to log off and go straight to bed because it was way past midnight. That comment came. I had no pint of sleep left. This is interesting. Never on earth did I imagine that there’s some behind the scenes stuff on this media. That people come here. Meet. Talk. Plan a date and even marry into that happily ever after Narrative. Huh! Good thing right? So at one point in future the naughty first born will go “daddy, how did you meet mummy?” and daddy will touch his graying beard, cough slightly and start “back then, some guy called Winstontony somewhere in Kenya, used to write a blog” That kid will withdraw eye contact and type in his iPhone38 browser “Winstontony_Kenya” Nothing. I will have retired out of the online space and put up a quail farming Industry in our Kanyamkago village. With no one to renew that domain, Google dudes will chuck it off their search engine results. It will prompt our kid to doubt his father’s version because then all dates will be originating from Tinder.

#Comments

#Winstontony

#ADifferentNarattive

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